Monday, June 1, 2009

I Don't Need No Stinkin' iPhone

(this post is dedicated to Jen)

Do you struggle daily trying to decide whether or not to buy an iPhone? Sure it's packed with fun, features and free (or low-priced) apps. It's so sleek and pretty. Besides, all the cool kids are doing it.

It's a tough choice. You want to make the leap but you're happy with your current network provider. And by "happy", I mean "locked into a 2-year contract", of course. If you break the contract, you only have to pay a small fee of 18-million dollars.

I have had the same struggles. I've spent many sleepless nights obsessing over my friends' and their constant connectivity. This phenomenon, also known as iPhone envy, can be debilitating and cause serious self-esteem issues. I feel like an outsider when everyone is all like, "OMG - this app is the best!" and "LOL! This video is so funny!" (For real, they talk like that).

Worry no longer, you pathetic iPhone-less losers!!! Your prayers have been answered. I give you the iPod Touch Modification Pack. If you have an iPod Touch and a phone, all you need to do is purchase one of my handy modification packs for the low low discount price of $350 and VIOLA! you have a handy 2-in-1 device. Your iPhoney friends will be so very jealous!

Velcro straps come in a variety of fashion colors. (Tyvek wraps and Duct Tape are also available in a variety of colors for an additional fee).

All the functionality of the iPhone without the cost or the hassle of switching carriers!

Disclaimer: iPod Touch and phone not included. Some users may experience inability to connect to networked application when out of range of free WiFi. Modification kit will not allow your iPod Touch to connect to your cell network. Some users may not be able to open/close their phones. You may experience limited use of the touch screen and/or keys on your telephone, especially when attempting to dial number containing 7,8,9 or 0. iPod Touch Modification Kit Co. and its affiliates are not responsible for damages to your phone and/or iPod Touch if it slips out of these flimsy restraints. No substitution, exchanges or refunds.


  1. I'm thinking duct tape to round out that classy configuration...

  2. And this, Jean Tags, proves why you should have a blog.

  3. good stuff! I def want one. Please include extra velcro with my order.