Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Warning: This post may be TMI (too much information) for some, although I can assure you I'm not speaking from personal experience on this particular topic. (insert sigh of relief or groan of disappointment here, depending on the reader)

I'm talking about Sexnology or Sex Tech, if you will.

With the iPhone 3.0 OS promising hardware accessory support, you can imagine what "creative" uses for the iPhone may come out of this new technology.

Then a friend sent me a link to an article about the Blackberry's "Toy With Me" App which uses the built-in vibration feature to turn a simple smart phone into a very special inanimate friend.

I was afraid to do some research on this topic. I looked over my shoulder to be sure I was alone as I typed "sex technology gadgets" into Google. I think I clicked the search button with my eyes half closed. Apparently, this isn't all that new. Not long after the dawn of the MP3 player, someone figured out they could make something fun to jack in (... and no, I'm not about to make the obvious pun) and rock out. Check out the iBuzz.

And that's just using the music to get your groove on. I'm sure the iPhone's first "personal attachment" will be super-customizable. Maybe even operable over 3G by another user? Gives new meaning to the phrase, "Reach out and touch someone."

Oh so many puns, so few paragraphs... I'll just rattle them off to get them out of my system:

Gives new meaning to the word "handheld"
Gives new meaning to the phrase "personal digital assistance"
Gives new meaning to the word "hardware"
Gives new meaning to the term "iPhone jack"
Gives new meaning to the term "Gadget girl"
Gives new meaning to the phrase "there's an app for that"

I'm sorry. I'm not Amish or anything but I think this is just gross. Unitaskers are useful, but I think this may be taking the concept a tad too far. I love my iPod but I don't want or need to "love" my iPod. And, frankly, it can't be good for the device.

"Hey can I use your iPhone?" Ick. Imagine asking to check out someone's Blackberry only to discover they've been running a sex toy app! You would need a bit more than a screen protector to say the least. Blech.

Aha! The invention of the iPhone condom. Sounds like another product to be brought to you by the makers of the iPod Touch Modification Pack. Cha-ching!

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