Wednesday, June 3, 2009

You Are Only As Old As You Feel

Age is just a number, they say. You are as young as you feel. This is true. And most of the time, I'm trucking around feeling somewhere around 25... maybe 28 if I didn't get enough sleep.

But what makes a person "FEEL" young? I don't pretend to know how men feel, and I'm not sure I want to, but for us gals, we feel young if we think we look young. Therefore, most mornings, I get up and look in the mirror and feel about my real age. Possibly a few years younger as I have pretty good skin. After a shower and spiffy clothes, I'm feeling about 30. Hair and a few coats of war paint and I'm down a few more years and it's usually sassy shoes that shave off the last few.

I'm out the door, feeling, again, about 10 years younger than I actually am until... WHAM! Someone or something smacks me right back to reality and I feel my age, or worse, older! YIKES!

It happens all the time, and frankly, it blows.

  • Sometimes it's some young punk at the checkout calling me "Ma'am". Certainly, I'm used to it when I'm with my tots but when I'm on my own, I'd prefer "Miss". Hell, sweetie or baby wouldn't hurt, either!

  • Sometimes it's a (much) older female co-worker guesstimating your age wrong and way high. That's right, I said "female". You'd think another woman would know better! Ladies Rule #26: ALWAYS shave at least five years off your first guess at another woman's age!!!!

  • Sometimes it's someone pointing out that the hot young stars in the Twilight movies are jail bait.

  • Sometimes it's a pop-culture reference from two decades ago that goes sailing right over your office-mate's head.

  • Sometimes it's not being able to hold your liquor the way you could when you were in your twenties leading to much embarrassment and profuse apologies.

  • And sometimes it's as simple as someone saying "Gee, I thought your children were much older than that." Which implies, either that I'm mad old, or that I got knocked up when I was a teenager. I think I prefer the later implication.
Either way, how are we supposed to FEEL YOUNG with all this reality floating around?! I enjoy a heavy dose of denial most days.

There are some days... some rare, beautiful days when it goes a different way.

  • Some young hunk at the check out hits on you. Okay, maybe he was more of a geek but he was in his twenties so I'll take it.

  • Some co-worker guesstimates your age wrong and way low.

  • Someone else chiming in with you and neither of your caring that the hot young actors in the Twilight series are jail bait.

  • Someone makes a pop-culture reference from three decades ago that goes sailing right over your head.

  • Sometimes you hold your liquor like a champ and someone else has to do the apologizing.

  • And sometimes it's a simple as someone saying "You can't possibly have two children!"
Yes, those days don't come nearly as often as the other kind, but when they do I cherish them. And on the other days... denial denial denial... and stacked heels.

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