Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Harper's Bazaar Thinks We're All Idiots

I don't read a lot of girlie magazines. Ummmm... by that... I mean magazines FOR GIRLS, or women rather, not CONTAINING PICTURES of scantily clad women...although these magazines do, also, contain pictures of scantily clad women. Sheesh.

I'm referring to magazines marketed at the female population and containing articles with tempting titles such as "How to wear this season's hottest colors" and "Are you pleasing your man?"... because that's undoubtedly what we live to do.

Honestly, with these new-fangled Interwebs, I don't read many magazines at all, but when I used to thumb through such publications I was more a reader of Food and Wine, Bon Appetit and Maxim, believe it or not. Maxim is just plain FUNNY and it's interesting to see a male perspective, even if it is on how to make your own rocket car.

This past weekend, however, I found myself at Barnes & Noble with some time to kill. I picked up my usual reads. Everyday with Rachel Ray, Hairstyles (I'm always ready to do something different with my mop) and Better Homes & Garden's Halloween Issue. Seriously, how could I go on not knowing how to make a pumpkin man out of matchsticks and masking tape?!?

I thought I had all the reading material I could handle, considering I was with my family and would have one eyeball on each kid and no eyeballs left for the mags. I was about to walk away from the rack when one of those tempting titles caught my eye. The June/July issue of Harper's Bazaar beckoned me with the big, bold caption "Sexy at Every Age: How To Be A Style Icon From Your Twenties To Your Seventies"

Well THIS I've got to see.
I skipped right to the good stuff, thumbing quickly past the twenties to check out the thirties. I thought the model looked mighty good for being in her thirties but figured maybe she's only 30 or 31 and has a young face. I moved on. I'm in my thirties but I'm half-way to forty and I like to plan ahead.

This model looked just as young, if not younger than the last one. C'mon now! Do you really think we're THAT gullible?!?! There's NO WAY that chick is in her forties.

Moving on. They couldn't possibly use a young model for a woman in her fifties. You can only push the envelope so far, right? I turn the page to see another youngin'. They are not even TRYING!

I was relieved to flip to the sixties section to see a woman clearly in her sixties (and looking FABULOUS, by the way) and the same for the seventies.

The moral of this story must be that the editors of this magazine think that women under the age of 60 are very easily duped. Apparently, once we turn 60 we become shrewd enough to identify another woman our own age but before that we think we are all sprightly wrinkle-free twenty-somethings.

There's a reason I don't read these kinds of magazines. I'll stick to my trashy vampire novels and the occasional issue of Maxim. Maxim's July issue featured: America's Best Beaches, The Rise of Recession Sex and Hot Grill-on-Grill Action. Now THAT is smart writing.

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