Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Stolen Glances and Why Women Lie
Men look at women. Women try not to notice and, if men are good at it, some times women really don't notice. Most many are very good at it. They have mastered the art of looking when nobody is looking and not getting caught. Especially as they have grow from boys to men. They've been looking at girls since the first one they didn't think was "icky" and figured out long ago that staring either gets you publicly embarrassed ("What are you staring at?!?!" / "Take a picture, it will last longer!") or assaulted. But even now, all of us ladies will occasionally run in to an ogler. This is the man who some how missed that day at "guy school" where they teach you how to do that without getting caught. Either that, or he doesn't care. He leers. He stares. He looks up and down without acknowledging the appalled look on his target's face. Well, to be fair, to see the look on her face he would have to look at her face.
I find this phenomenon fascinating. Does he really not know that we can see him? Does he think he is invisible? I can't figure it out and it is very vexing. He should know how to do this. Everyone else does!
Well, not everyone.
Women don't know how to do it. We fare pretty well when we admire a man (and we don't do it all that often, to be honest) but we always get caught when we are looking at another girl. Ewwww. Get your minds out of the gutter. We are not looking in THAT way (usually) and that is why we stink at it. We don't put any effort into averting our eyes because our intentions are not suspect. We are usually staring because we are wondering wear she gets her hair cut, or what size those shoes are, or if those are real. But we get caught. That is why women are always blurting things out like "I love those shoes." or "Your hair looks great today!"
That is also why we lie to each other.
For every time we are staring at another woman admiring her blouse, there's a time that we are wondering if she got dressed in the dark. Or we are looking at her new hair cut with amazement that she actually paid someone to do that to her. Then we get caught and what are we supposed to say? We can't say what we are thinking so we blurt out "I love that top!" or "Your hair looks awesome!". Sometimes we might say "That top is so you!" or "Wow, you changed you hair!" That is our way of being non-committal and a bit more honest.
Only your true friends will tell you the God's honest truth and even then, they will reserve it for things you can change. They might say "I'm not sure I love that color on you." And if it is something semi-permanent, like a haircut, they will sugar-coat it like "It's cute but I think longer is better for your face shape."
But we simply can't be brutally honest. Nobody likes that and we are liable to get slapped. Next thing you know, you've got a chick fight on your hands and there isn't a guy in America able to pretend he's not looking at that!