Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Tips for the Best Results When You Step on the Scale

The optimal time to weigh yourself is the first thing in the morning. Why? Well, every ounce (or fraction of an ounce) counts.  Follow my tips for the best possible results.  The little things add up.

Step on the scale:

  • After using the bathroom
    • You will be minus sh*t weight
  • After taking a shower
    • You will be minus dead skin weight
  • After shaving your legs, armpits, etc.
    • Minus stubble weight
  • BUT Before washing your hair
    • Otherwise you will add water weight, although washing your hair removes a bit of dirt and oil weight.  I guess you could wash AND blow dry your hair first, if you are feeling really ambitious about weight loss.
  • Before eating breakfast
    • You will be minus the muffin, Starbucks latte weight
  • Before getting dressed 
    • You will be minus the maxi-dress weight
  • After brushing your teeth 
    • So you can be minus the plaque build-up weight
  • After blowing your nose
    • Minus booger weight, obviously
  • Before moisturizing
    • Otherwise you'll add moisture weight
  • Before putting on your makeup
    • Don't want to add mascara and lipstick weight
  • After clipping your nails
    • Minus nail clipping weight
  • Breathe out
    • I know they SAY air doesn't weigh anything but what do they know!
If you are truly dedicated to loosing the excess weight, you can try the following:
  • Get a hair cut, or better yet, shave your head
  • Take off your nail and toe nail polish
  • Pluck your eyebrows
  • Pluck your nose hairs
  • Spit out as much saliva as possible
  • Clean your ears
  • Cry a lot (Ever think about how much water weight are we carrying around in tears?!?!?)

No comments:

Post a Comment