Saturday, August 11, 2012

Why I Don't Miss The City

I moved out of the city about 10 years ago. I don't miss it. I might if I lived really in the sticks but I live in a fairly high-culture, epicuriously diverse area. Occasionally I think of something that's better in the city and then I have occasion to visit and I am reminded why I don't miss it.

1.) Traffic. Everything might be closer together but it takes 5 minutes to move 5 feet. Not always but when it happens, it's excruciating!

2.) Idiot drivers. I've never seen so many inept, aggressive morons in one place.

3. ) Crowds. Where there are lots of cars there are lots of people. Nuff said.

4.) Lines. I know I am stating the obvious because clearly if there are crowds there are lines but I hate waiting for sh*t. Every line is 10 times longer than it should be. Which brings me to...

5.) Customer Service. Everyone is grouchy -- says the grouchy chick blogging about stuff she hates. It is true though. Where I live, service people are almost always anxious to help and happy to do so.

6.) Nasty-A** Public Restrooms. Now, it's not like any public restroom is a pleasure but pile on the people and the issue is compounded. There is no amount of orange cleaner to mask the smell of dirty diaper.

7.) Stepping in F**king Gum! After stepping in gum today, I realized I haven't stepped in gum in 10 years! It sucks! Not quite as bad as stepping in urine, dog sh*t or vomit but it's unnecessary and gross.

8.) Stinky People. Someone ripped a fart while we were eating. Nasty human being.

9.) Huge Mall Parking Lots. If I were at home, I'd be shopping already.

I am fully aware that I sound like an old lady shaking my cane and telling the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn but I don't care. Life is to short to deal with bullsh*t like this and I don't miss any of it. I'll take my 20 minute drive to the uncrowded mall with the short lines, smiling sales people and slightly less disgusting restrooms any day.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

  1. I thought the crowds were worse than the traffic on our visit this week. Traffic for me was worse in Providence and Boston. Yesterday Times Square smelled REALLY bad.

    It is a fantastic city to visit, though I might never go again with my kids.